


Blurred Vision

by Peristeal



Category: Free!
Genre: Alcohol, Anxiety, Cops, Dogs, Drinking, Drunk Sex, Kidnapping, M/M, Nervous breakdowns, Police, Unresolved Sexual Tension, all that good stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2015-11-04
Packaged: 2018-04-14 06:01:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4553448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peristeal/pseuds/Peristeal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five years after high school, Sousuke Yamazaki realizes that he is still not over the stupid crush he has on his best friend.<br/>The only problem is, his ex best friend is in handcuffs in the backseat of his cop car, trying to kick out the windows.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sleepwalking - The Chain Gang of 1974

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! Hold on tight and I hope you enjoy the story! Please leave a comment? It would mean the world! And please enjoy my fic of the summer!

__  


 

 

_"Hey Sousuke.”_

                Like the poppy fields in the books about Mexico he used to read for class, he opens his eyes and red fills his vision.  A boy the same age as him is standing in the doorway with his hands on his hips.  His red hair is put up in a ponytail.  Sousuke remembers helping him put his hair up before they played soccer with their friends.  He can still feel the elastic band snap around his wrist and the tangled hair in his hands.

                The boy stops staring at Sousuke and turns to look at a picture of the both of them that his mother had taken years ago. A dirty bandage sticks onto Sousuke left cheek in the photo and shows it’s evidence now as a thin white scar. He can’t remember how he got it now.

                _“Do you like anyone?”_ Sousuke knows that the boy is trying to sound like he doesn’t care, but he can hear the tightness in his voice.  His fingers reach forward and he picks through all the books that sit on his shelf.

                Sousuke turns his head back to the ceiling and pretends that he’s falling asleep.   But his body is awake now. Thrumming and moving like it’s being struck with electricity.  His leg twitches restlessly and he tries to keep his voice even when he answers.

                “ _I don’t know.”_ He tries to say smoothly. _“Maybe.”_ He hopes he doesn’t sound too pathetic. _“Why, are you jealous?”_

                He must have turned toward him now because Sousuke can hear him better.

                _“Why would I be jealous that you like someone?  They can have your lazy ass.”_ The boy is laughing at his own comeback.  He sounds satisfied by the answer and finally pulls an old book off of the shelf. 

                Sousuke knows he should feel satisfied with the answer too, but he lays awake and stares at his friend flip through the pages of the book. He still remembers these moments, like they were yesterday.

* * *

 

The intense heat of the summer had finally broken as the sun sets below the horizon in Japan.  Sousuke Yamazaki stands in the crowded auditorium in a thick black graduation gown, his diploma and hat grasped safely in his hands.  He nervously turns the rolled up paper in his hands.

He was no longer a high school student.  The small paper gave proof that already a new chapter in his life is opening up.

                A bittersweet feeling courses through his chest and fills his veins.  He takes a deep breath and looks through the crowd to find his best friend.

                It’s not hard to find him, since half the high school’s swimming team is bunched around him yelling their congratulations over the hired orchestra band music. 

                Even here, Sousuke can see it.  Rin Matsuoka, his best friend, had always been a force that people gravitated towards.

                Sousuke knows he doesn’t mind the questions thrown at him a mile a minute by his underclassmen.  In fact, he basks in the attention.

                He resists the urge to roll his eyes at the impressed gasps  Rin would receive whenever he told them who scouted him, or what his personal best time in swimming was.  Rin was going to a prestigious school in Australia to swim professionally. He had wanted to swim there since before Sousuke had known him.   From there, he was hoping to make it to the Olympics.

As if Rin seemed to know that Sousuke was looking on at him with a bored expression, he looked over at him and narrowed his eyes. He looked ready to flip him his middle finger.

                Sousuke only grinned, and shrugged his shoulders before turning around. Rin could have his fans.  Sousuke hadn’t even walked two feet whenever he almost bowled over one of their classmates.

                It was Kyo Itsawa.  He had graduated also, and was going to be competing on a college swim team just outside of Tokyo.  He grinned at Sousuke.

                “Hey man! I still can’t believe you didn’t apply for the same school I did! I thought for sure that’s where you were going once we were done!”

                Sousuke froze like a deer in the headlights.  Rin could handle these kind of questions, no problem.  As for himself, he felt his throat close up, and his palms start to sweat.

                Sousuke had been an amazing swimmer.  That was until a torn rotator cuff had forced him to realize that his dream of swimming professionally was over. He could still remember sitting in the doctor’s office, the sterile smell burning his nose.  The cover up he was wearing was pulled away to reveal one shoulder. One twisted, aching, broken shoulder.

                A dream he had worked at for years was thrown down the drain.  And the only people that knew about this was his best friend Rin, and their two underclassmen, Nitori and Momotaru.  And he planned to keep it that way. 

                How was he supposed to tell people that he was no longer competing professionally, like he had planned to for almost four years now?

      He opened his mouth, but no sound came out as Kyo looked at him expectantly.  He had no lie, and he instantly felt stupid.  Of course people would want to ask him about his plans after high school.  What else would he have expected at graduation?

      He felt the body heat of someone else, and turned his head to see Rin standing beside him.

      He shot Sousuke a grin that told him he could tell that he was completely cornered. “What does it matter, Kyo?” Rin reached forward and grabbed Sousuke’s forearm. “Maybe he just didn’t want to go to the same University with a loser like you, Kyo!”

      Kyo looked at Rin unimpressed, but the distraction had worked.

      Rin was pulling Sousuke away before Kyo could ask his question again.

       Leaving the gym and fighting their way past the parents and classmates, Sousuke and Rin began their walk back to their dorm room.  Finally, all other noise quieted down to the birds chirping in the courtyard and the swish of their graduation robes.

       Rin glanced at him and could see that the relieved look on Sousuke’s face was the only thanks he needed. He opened his mouth to say something, then seemed to fight against it. Sousuke saw, and pretended to be distracted by a lose string on the sleeve of his robe.

       Reaching their dorm room, Rin paused and turned to face Sousuke, blocking their door from entrance.

      Sousuke raised his eyebrows at him. “What is it?” He grumbled.

      Rin’s face broke out into a mischievous grin. “I got something for us.”

      Sousuke took in a deep breath and tried to ignoring his racing heart. Rin was someone whose gift ideas ranged anywhere from practical to absurd. He didn’t like surprises, but from the look Rin was giving him, he was slightly curious.

      Rin threw open the door and took off his graduation robes with a sigh of relief, revealing a relaxed t-shirt and jeans. Sousuke took his time removing his clothes more carefully, feeling his shoulder brace catch on the robes before he pulled them free. He still had to get used to the bulky thing. Once Sousuke was changed, he sat on Rin's bed and watched him dig something out from underneath.

     He straightened up and looked at Sousuke pleasantly. “I figured we should start out our future right.” He thrust a brown paper bag into Sousuke’s hands.

      Sousuke just gave Rin a blank look. He didn’t even need to pull off the bag to know it was a bottle of alcohol.

      “Rin. You shouldn’t have. What better way to start out our future than to get drunk.” Sousuke sneered at him and laughed whenever Rin gave him a glare. He glanced in the bag anyway, and was impressed to see it was an expensive brand.

       “Alright asshole, see if I ever treat you to anything nice ever again.” He huffs and begins to take the bottle away from Sousuke who only smirks and moves his hand out of reach. Rin gives up easily and lightly punches Sousuke in the chest. “I just want you to loosen up tonight and have some fun before tomorrow…”

      Sousuke lowers his arm and stares at Rin’s fist on his chest, trying to keep his cheeks from coloring.

      After tomorrow, all graduated seniors were urged to have all their bags packed and move out by the end of the day. Rin had most of his bags packed, and after some bickering, he had convinced Sousuke to pack most of his too. There they sat in the corner of the room, making the space feel bigger and a little lonely.

     Rin pulled his hand away, looking at the ground in a rare moment of shyness.

      Sousuke stares, then clears his throat and distracts himself by looking at the bottle of vodka. “Hey,“ Sousuke stands and puts his graduation cap onto Rin’s head, ruffling his hair a little. “I appreciate it. You’re right. Let’s have some fun.”

     Rin looks up at him with the excited gleam back in his eyes, and Sousuke feels his heart dance.

* * *

 

      Sousuke knows part of why Rin brought them alcohol.  He isn’t a fool to see how often his best friend had stood around looking at him guiltily like a bad dog.

      He feels bad about it now, but after the doctor had told him about his shoulder, he had decided to swim only a few more times before he would eventually call it quits altogether.  He hadn’t planned on telling anyone.

      That had included Rin.  It only made the situation worse whenever he had to keep making lies to cover up his injury.  It hadn’t mattered though, because Rin had found out.

      He had made his best friend cry.  Reality had hit them in the face and Sousuke had failed to keep his secret.  He had wanted Rin to think that they could continue to swim together professionally.  He wanted his best friend to believe that they were going to continue on the same path.

      After that, he couldn’t be in the same room with Rin without seeing the hurt and upset look in his eyes.

      Sousuke knew Rin was upset about his shoulder.  But he knew that Rin was upset because he had not been able to see his injury from the beginning. 

      Thinking unconsciously about his shoulder, he reached back and readjusted the brace with one hand, feeling it dig into his shoulder blade.  Sweat formed on his forehead as he followed Rin up the hill and he wiped it away.

      “Hey Rin.” He called ahead and Rin grunted in reply. “Where were you able to get the alcohol from?”

      Rin laughed and shot him a smile. “Russel sent it to me as a graduation present.”

      Sousuke’s jaw dropped a little and he laughed. “You’re kidding me.”

      Russel was like Rin’s second father.  Whenever he had moved out to Australia five years ago, he had stayed with Russel and Lori.  They were as much his parents as the ones that he had in Japan.

      That explained how Rin was able to get such an expensive brand.

       They reached the top of the hill and looked out over the town below them.

                The outlook Rin and Sousuke were standing on was a small grassy opening with two benches that looked over their town.   They had found one night while they were jogging together and have since come up there frequently to hang out.  For whatever reason, no one seemed to come up there, even though it definitely used to be a popular place in the past.

 Sousuke turned and ran his fingers over the initials that couples had carved into one of the giant trees surrounding the two benches.  He felt foolish that he looked at these initials so earnestly, wishing that he could take the swiss army knife in his pocket and add their own.

                “Sousuke!” Sousuke looked over at Rin already sitting in the grass, already twisting the cap off of the bottle, “Come over here and sit down!!”

                Sousuke almost said something snarky in reply, but his weak heart relented and he shuffled over to Rin, their shoulders touching as he sat in the grass.  The casual shoulder touch  caught Rin’s attention and he jerked, looking at Sousuke’s shoulder as if it were on fire.

                Sousuke felt himself fill with shame.  He hadn’t wanted anyone to know about his shoulder injury for that exact reason.  Rin seemed to watch every movement around him as if he were made of glass. 

                It wasn’t just that. He had been something great.  He could still remember the power that he felt whenever he lifted his arms out of the water.  He had been on top of the world, and his own foolishness had dragged him down.

                He didn’t want Rin’s pity.  Rin was a captain, and was a great influence on his underclassmen, and the last thing Sousuke had wanted was for his shoulder to be a reason of concern.  Whenever he found out that he could never swim again, the first thought in his mind was that before he quit swimming altogether, he wanted to see Rin one final time.

                It had been a foolish decision. 

                They hadn’t seen each other in five years.  He had hoped that maybe the way he had felt back then was some weird childhood crush. 

Had he known that his childhood crush would turn out into full-blown adoration, Sousuke would have been smart and stayed in Tokyo.

That was Sousuke’s second secret.  His hands would twist in his lap, and his mouth would go dry every time he thought about it.

He had loved his best friend Rin Matsuoka for as long as he could remember.

                He still wondered what had made him think that he could come back to the beautiful smile and fiery attitude and not fall in love.  He was an idiot, and every morning when he woke up to see Rin up and ready to seize the day, his heart seemed to soar.

                Sousuke shifted on the ground until they were a more comfortable distance apart.  He could feel the letter crinkle in his sweatpants pocket. He brought his hand up to it instinctively.

                Feeling like a love-struck fool for the whole year had finally done him in.  After today, him and Rin would part ways once more. Rin was leaving for Australia, and Sousuke was still unsure of where he was going.  Neither knew when they’d meet again. 

                At first he hadn’t thought to write his confession in a letter.  But the more time he spent with Rin, and the more he knew that he truly was in love with this ambitious man, he felt his courage falter.  At first he thought to end the school year, and move on with life.  But after Rin had found out about his shoulder, he knew that he couldn’t hide how he felt anymore.  Sometimes he was surprised that no one had found out yet.

                It hadn’t helped that just the other night as Sousuke stood at the swimming pool one last time.  He had come in to retrieve his swim clothes, and when he had turn, Rin was standing there. Sousuke stopped, hoping he didn’t looked like a trapped animal under Rin’s fiery look.

                “I’ll be waiting for you.”

                Sousuke stopped, feeling his breath catch so quickly, he was almost certain he had punctured a lung.

                What had Rin meant?

                He had known Rin had been talking about swimming.  But then again, every moment of the guy’s life had some kind of analogy about swimming.  He had been so dumbfounded afterwards.

                What had he meant, that he would truly wait for Sousuke?

                Together they were sitting in silence on top of the outlook, the setting sun making their shadows grow longer and longer.  If Sousuke had wanted to, he could turn to Rin right now and confess his love.  He looked at Rin and saw his red hair turned golden from the sun rays.  He saw the distant look he had on his face as he looked out over the town.  His hair was getting longer.

                Sousuke’s nerves kept his mouth glued shut.

                Instead, he accepted the vodka Rin was handing to him.  Their fingers brushed and Sousuke tried not to drop the bottle.  Taking a swig, he welcomed the burning taste in his throat, willing the alcohol to calm his heart at least a little.

                Rin raised his eyebrows and burst into laughter. “Jeez Sou, if you need something to help you relax, you should have just told me sooner.”

                Sousuke turned to him, studying the strong angle of his jaw, the bright sparkle of his eyes.  Oh, he had no idea.

                

* * *

 

      They sat on the hill until the stars shined bright in the sky.  Half of the bottle of alcohol was gone, nestled between Rin’s thighs as he screwed and unscrewed the cap in a small habit. 

      "Ahhh, I  can’t believe I leave for Australia tomorrow!” Rin slurred, raising his hands into the sky.  A few birds sitting in the branches above their head were startled awake and they flapped their wings twice before flying into the sky.  Rin lowered his hands and watched them in wonder.  Sousuke watched Rin, feeling his body quake with emotion.

      “Sounds like you’ll have a lot of fun there without me.”  The words slipped past his lips, and he wished he could have swallowed them back up the moment they did.  Rin looked at him and smirked, undeterred by the snap in his tone.

      “Come visit me, you idiot! I told you I’d wait for you!” His smirk turned into a real smile, bright enough to light the moon and the stars.

      Sousuke couldn’t speak and Rin cackled, roughly shoving him.

      “How badly is that alcohol hitting you, you’re not going to pass out on me are you?”  Rin heckled him and shoved him again.

      “Fuck off.” Sousuke snapped, but whenever Rin tried to shove him again, he dodged out of the way and shoved him back. It wasn’t hard, but it was enough that Rin lost his balance falling backward with a yell of surprise.  Sousuke snorted, until Rin straightened up and pounced on him like a cat and soon they were rolling on the ground wrestling.

      They rolled about, shouting protests back and forth until Sousuke breathlessly yelled about the alcohol.  The fighting paused, and they both looked over at the vodka, forgotten and spilling into the ground.

      “Fuck it.” Rin turned back to Sousuke with a grin on his face.  Sousuke stared, feeling his own smile fall away from his lips.  Rin was lying on top of him, with the stars surrounding his body.

      Neither of them said anything for a moment, looking into each others eyes and catching their breath.  Sousuke didn’t want this to end.  The alcohol made him feel warm and fuzzy and he felt like maybe, this truly was only a dream.

      “I’m going to miss you.”  Rin whispered.

      Sousuke stopped breathing.  He reached a hand up, wanting to touch Rin’s face. Instead he sat up, easily throwing Rin into the grass next to him.

      “Asshole!” Rin snapped at him, but Sousuke only threw him an uneasy laugh, feeling like he could finally breathe with the distance between them. 

      “I’m going to miss you too.”  He said quietly, hoping Rin couldn’t see his face and ears burning.

      Rin’s frustrated face fell away into one of shock and he stared at Sousuke. “What?”

       “I’ll race you back to the school!” Sousuke called playfully and shot off before Rin even had his feet underneath him.  Rin’s protested yell was lost in the forest as Sousuke sprinted down the dark path, the adrenaline pushing him so fast, he felt like there were wings on his feet.

* * *

 

      The last thing Sousuke remembered before he collapsed onto the bunk bed that night was pulling the bent and now grass stained envelope out of his pocket and putting it onto Rin’s desk.

* * *

 

      Sousuke wakes up again, he runs a hand through his hair trying to figure out how he had gotten back to the dorms. Blurred memories of him running down the path, the sound of Rin’s shoes racing to catch up behind him are what he remembers.

      He looks over at the desk and sees the letter in its envelope, crinkled and dirty.

       Sousuke’s heart starts to pound again as he stares at it wide-eyed.  This is it, once Rin is awake, he’ll see the letter and read it.

      A part of him hopes that somehow, Rin feels the same.  Somewhere deep down, he wants to think that maybe he hasn’t been an idiot, and that maybe whenever he sees the letter, Rin’s face will grow red and he’ll punch Sousuke in the chest or something.

      A bigger part of him reminds him that Rin may only like him as a friend.  He can almost see the horrified look on Rin’s face when he reads the letter, wondering how he had never known that his friend had lusted over him in such a way.

      Taking a shaky breath, he clenches and unclenches his fist and leaps out of the bed before the nerves get the best of him.  He grabs a water bottle from the mini fridge and downs the entire thing.

      Pulling the bottle away from his lips, he shoots it at their garbage can nestled between their two desks and groans whenever it bounces off the edge and misses.

       Who cares.

       Grabbing a towel, he decides to take a shower.  He’s drenched and sweat from sleeping in his hoodie all night, and he feels like he might pass out on the floor if he's in the room with Rin for another minute.

      He feels like such a coward.

      Walking out of the room, he almost runs into their underclassmen, Nitori Aiichirou.  Silver hair is slightly dishieveled, and he’s carrying a stack of letters in his hands.

      “Ah…Yamazaki-sempai!”

      Sousuke blinks before he remembers how to talk, staring down at the shorter guy.  His reply comes out as a noncommittal grunt.

       Nitori takes it for what it’s worth anyway. “I have some stuff for Rin, and I was wondering if he was awake! I have to talk to him about a swimming schedule!”

       Sousuke looks at the letters in his hands with only faint interest and points with his thumb to their door. “You can go in, but Rin might not be very happy to be woken up.”

      Sousuke agrees with Nitori’s look of surprise.  Usually it’s Rin that’s kicking down doors at five in the morning, and Sousuke is curled up into a ball, trying to will the sun from ever coming back.  It’s quite a rare sight to see Sousuke even functioning this early.

       Nitori bows politely and makes a comment about how he’s willing to face the storm.  Sousuke manages to crack a smile at the kids attempt at humor and turns back to the bathrooms.

* * *

 

      Nitori feels odd walking into the room with a sleeping rin. Usually he’s doing stretches by now, and he feels his nerves get the better of him.  He turns and places the letters onto the desk. It’s only a small stack, but he figured while he was getting his mail down in the main office, he’d pick up Sousuke and Rin’s.  Although there was nothing for Sousuke, Rin had a small stack of letters.  Nitori was slightly impressed, seeing that some of them were from pretty fancy colleges.

      Turning back around, he sees Rin hasn’t moved from his bed, but his eyes are open and he’s glaring daggers at Nitori.

        Nitori suppresses a whine and helplessly points to the open door, hoping his death will be quick while he delivers his verdict. “Y-Yamazaki-sempai said I could come in and drop some stuff off for you…” His voice trails off when Rin gets out of bed and walks over to the desk, looking at the stack of letters.

      “Sousuke’s already up..?” Rin grumbles and looks at the empty bunk, and even though his eyes are narrowed into a glare, and his hair is a huge mess, Nitori can see the mild shock on his face.  Nitori is slightly impressed also.  It’s like the two had switched personalities for the day. He feels like he’s witnessing something life-changing.

      Rin turns back to the desk and stares at the letters like he can't remember what he's doing. Nitori waits patiently for him to remember, then Rin rifles through the first two letters, squinting at the names of the schools.  He’s wondering if Rin has a concussion, then thinks better of it when he realizes that the room does have a faint odor of alcohol.  He politely doesn't mention anything about it.

      “What do you need?” Rin finaly mutters out after giving up once he rifles to the third letter and gives up.  Nitori watches in shock as Rin tosses them all into the trash without a second thought. Rin notices the stunned look on his face.

      “What?” He follows his gaze to the trash. “They’re all just letters from colleges that wanted to recruit me.  That and junk mail come to the school.  All my important mail goes to my mom’s and I pick it up on the weekends.”

     "Ah..." Nitori quickly holds up his clipboard filled with notes for the swim team.  He hopes he can get the advice he needed before Rin's finally kicks him out.

* * *

 

      Rin woke up with a hangover and his roommate waking up before him for once in their life.  He pushed his hair away from his face and tied it up into a ponytail while he gave Nitori some more helpful hints at how to coach the swim team.  Today was his last day in the dorms at Samezuka.  In twelve hours, he would boarding his flight to Australia.  Everything seemed right with the world.

                Had Rin known that whenever he threw away his mail he had accidentally thrown away Sousuke’s letter, it may have been a different story.

* * *

 

                While Sousuke was drying his hair, he suddenly realized that Nitori would probably see the letter on his desk that he had written to Rin.

                He swallowed and willed himself to calm down.  Nitori wasn't the type of guy that would stick his nose in other people's business.

                Still, his cheeks flushed and he tried not to think what his teammates would think of him if they knew he had written a letter confessing his love to another guy.

                He felt childish.

                He isn’t sure if a yes or no from Rin would settle his stomach.  The thought of eating breakfast makes him feel queasy.

                Sousuke turns into the room and stops.  He feels his body grow cold and a bad taste grow in his mouth.

               The letter is no longer on the desk.

                It doesn’t take him long to take in the near empty room, and for his eyes to fall on the letter in the trash can.

                He had thought it would hurt to be told that his feelings couldn’t be returned.

                It didn’t think that it would hurt much worse for those feelings to be thrown away.

 

* * *

 

                Rin eats lunch in the courtyard, throwing the crust on his sandwiches to the sparrows that watch him with tiny black eyes.

                His headache isn’t bad since he has some food and water.

                He feels bad for leaving the room and not telling Sousuke he was getting something to eat.  Even though he’s a little dopey sometimes, Sousuke knows him, and knows that Rin likes to eat in the courtyard after he’s woken up.

                He thinks about life after school, and takes another bite of his sandwich.  He wonders if he’ll join him soon.

* * *

 

                Sousuke feels like such an idiot.  He feels so selfish.

               Of course he was only thinking about himself, and not about Rin.

                Rin is busy with his mind set on the Olympics.  He’s moving to a different country soon.

                And how could he have seen it so wrong?

                He remembers last night, the smile that Rin threw at him when he told Sousuke to join him in Australia.

                The way he had felt lying on top of Sousuke.

                He remembers him smiling at his friend Haruka Nanase like that before.  He remembers him casually bumping shoulders with Makoto Tachibana and his other teammates.

                That’s just how Rin is.  Being flirtatious by nature was part of what made him so charming.

                Sousuke feels sick. He knew it was a bad idea to put his feelings out there like that. He should have known from the beginning that it was a no. 

               He feels disgusted with himself.  He doesn't know how he's going to face Rin now.  

                 He doesn't want to think about how horrified Rin was when he saw the letter.  To not even want to open it, he was that freaked out by Sousuke.

                Sousuke feels ashamed also.  If he claimed to love Rin so much, why would he do something like this when he knew that Rin was busy getting ready to move?

                His eyes glance to the letter in the trash and he digs it out, looking at it’s marred edges and the green and brown stains.

                Memories of last night.

                Rin’s name hand printed on the front.

                He swallows the cold feeling that builds up in his bones and burrows his face in his hands.

      _Rin._ He can still remember the way his pen creased the paper as he wrote, spilling his feelings into ink.   _We've been friends as long as I can remember. I have always wanted you to know that in that time I have always loved yo--_ _  
_

                Shooting up, he grabs the last items that sit on his desk and throws them into his duffle bag.  He wasn’t supposed to leave for a few more hours, but there’s several trains that head to Tokyo, so he might as well get an early start, right?

                He pauses at the door and bites his lip.  Pulling out a pen and paper, he scribbles down two sentences that holds back the thousand questions he has.

                He leaves the note on the same place the letter had been and walks out the door, hoping that the pain in his chest will go away the faster the distance grows between him and Samezuka.  

                

* * *

 

      Rin had sat in the courtyard and extra half an hour until he figured Sousuke wasn’t going to join him after all.  Standing up, he thinks of what he could have done with the time he had wasted, and already has a snippy remark on his lips when he reaches their dorm room.

      He reaches for the door and pauses when it doesn’t give to his hand. That’s weird, they never lock their door.  Reckless as it may be, Rin and Sousuke liked to assume that they gave off enough of an intimidating vibe that no one would think to steal their stuff.

      Rin isn’t too worried about anything of his being stolen. Sousuke however, has expressed concern once or twice about his shoes.  Rin tells him it wouldn’t be hard to find the culprit, since hardly anyone else has big ass feet like him.

      He pulls out the key from his pocket and sighs in relief that he had thought to grab it before he had gone to get breakfast.  Opening the door, he walks inside and his eyes are immediately drawn to the note on his desk. He walks over and looks down at it.

_I'm sorry Rin. It was nice to know you for as long as I could._

      Rin’s widen and he looks around the room. _What the fuck?_

      Sousuke’s duffle bag is gone.  The bed sheets on his bunk bed are neatly folded.  He looks back at the note.

      There’s no way.

       Rin pulls out his cell phone and texts Sousuke with shaky hands thinking this is some shitty joke.

     He hears the familiar two tone chime coming from under their bunk bed.

* * *

 

     Sousuke is waiting at the train station whenever he realizes that he doesn’t have his cell phone with him.  It’s only an afterthought because he hardly uses it.

      He doesn’t mind.  It was cheap and he was supposed to get a new one soon anyway.

      He’s glad he never memorized Rin’s number.

* * *

 

      Rin sits in the dorm room waiting. Sitting turns into pacing.  He wrings his hands and finally admits to himself that if he waits anymore he’s going to miss his flight.

      He grabs all of his bags and begins walking down the hallway, trying not to think bitterly that he and Sousuke were supposed to head toward the airport together and part ways once he reached the train station.

      Inside, he feels resentment towards his old best friend that his final memories of his high school are filled with anger and tears pricking at the corner of his eyes.

                The sun sets and drowns in the ocean by the time his plane is soaring through the air.

* * *

 

                Sousuke watches the red clouds turn cold, purple, and dark.  He takes the letter out of his pocket and throws it into the trash before he boards the train.


	2. Comes and Goes (In Waves) - Greg Lanswell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sousuke left behind a lot of people. And a lot of plans for his future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I finally got the second chapter written! This is...poorly edited! I'm so stressed from everything! AHHH I
> 
> Enjoy! At least!

  

 

 

 

      Sousuke feels Rin watching him.  Flecks of gold reflect the determination shining in Rin's eyes, making Sousuke's heart stammer.

 

      He turns and looks out the window.  He could say it to him.  Now would be the perfect chance.  The pool lazily laps over into the filter, making a small gurgling noise.

 

      “Rin.”

 

      Interest piques in Rin's features. He’s stands attentive, waiting for Sousuke to say more. 

 

      He should say it. He opens his mouth to tell Rin, tell him what he had thought of him, how he still thinks of him, after all these years.  He feels his knees tremble, and his nails nervously dig into the skin of his closed fist.

 

      Rin waits, unusually patient and he looks down at the floor.  His eyelashes are long, thick, and full, and his hair falls forward into his face, red bangs catching the golden sunlight.

 

 _I love you. I always have_. Sousuke's heart proclaims, full of love and yearning.

 

      Sousuke opens his mouth.  The small intake of breath he makes causes Rin to look up at him through his bangs.  He seems shy, like he can hear Sousuke's thoughts.

 

       _You are so beautiful._

 

 _God_.  Sousuke's fingers shake whenever he runs them through his hair.  

 

      The moment makes him oddly emotional, and the words never leave his throat.  Closing his mouth, he shakes his head and then laughs it off like he had forgotten what he was going to say.  Inside his heart breaks, and his stomach twists like he’s going to be sick.

 

      Rin gives him a weird look like Sousuke's having a psychotic break.  Sousuke attempts to shrug it off and points over his shoulder in the direction of town.

 

     “Want to grab something to eat?”

 

      They pick their usual place off campus, and both lazily poke at their food, neither seeming to really be that hungry.  They can feel it, the odd tension between them.  Both know that partially, it’s because soon they will have to say goodbye to each other.

 

      They would be graduating soon, and already, the gears were set in motion. High school was practically over, now it was time for college and a career.  Years of uncertainty and stress were to ensue. 

 

      This was just adding to the burden.

 

      Sousuke drops his chopsticks onto the table and puts his hands into his lap, rubbing his palms together nervously.  His shoulders hunch forward, a rare sign of insecurity.  It’s him trying to make himself smaller, less noticeable, being as large as he is.

 

      “Hey, Rin.”

 

       Rin’s head snaps up almost immediately, relief on his face that they are no longer sitting together in an awkward silence.

 

      “If…” Sousuke clears his throat and tries again. “If there were ever someone that you liked…” He takes a deep breath and tries not to make his hands shake again from the nervousness, “How would you tell them?”

 

      Rin raises an eyebrow at Sousuke, confused. Since when was he some relationship guru? He finds it almost ironic that Sousuke asks him, since every relationship that Rin has ever attempted had barely lasted long enough to even be considered dating.

 

      “I would just tell them?”  Rin says, seeming annoyed at how obvious the answer to the question is. “There really isn’t much to it.  Just tell them how you really feel.”

 

      Sousuke would have been lying if he hadn’t figured out this would be Rin’s answer, even before the words left his mouth.  He looks away from his best friend’s intense gaze and picks at his food with the chopsticks for something to do.

 

      “Yeah, but…what if they didn’t like you the same?” Sousuke struggles out. 

 

      There’s a pause and Sousuke avoids Rin’s gaze.  Finally, he knows that Rin isn’t going to speak until he looks at him.  He feels submissive like a whipped dog and it makes me feel like an idiot.

 

      “Who the hell do you like?” Rin snaps. His gaze bores into Sousuke.

 

      Sousuke coughs and his face pale from nerves. He feels like he was suddenly dropped into freezing water.

 

      “No one.”  The silence between them feels deafening.  Sousuke feels his heart sink at his cowardice.  Rin narrows his eyes and stares at him.  He can tell that he’s fucking lying. 

 

      Rin sighs dramatically and leans back in his chair.  He rests one arm on the table and taps his fingers. The silence continues for only a  moment longer, and then he speaks again.  “If they don’t like you the same, then either you move on, or learn how to just be friends with them instead.  If you can’t just be friends with them, you’re probably better just forgetting about them.”

 

      Sousuke heart sinks, and he wants to believe he heard Rin wrong.  “Forgetting about them?”

 

      “Yeah, I mean,” now Rin looked away. He begins opening and closing his flip phone in his lap, a rare nervous habit of his that Sousuke was able to pick up on since they were around each other 24/7, “If I liked someone that didn’t like me the same way, and I knew they never would, I would try to move on and forget about them.  If I kept trying to speak to them, or tried to be friends with them, I know it wouldn’t be fair to either of us.”

 

      “How would that not be fair?”

 

       Rin stops messing with his flip phone and begins pushing the ice cubes down in his drink with his straw. “Well, you know, because if you like someone and they don’t like you the same way, it would just, hurt you a lot to see them all the time, you know?  Plus, it wouldn’t be fair to the other person to be with you and have them either not knowing you like them, or knowing you do, but feeling really guilty about it because they can’t feel the same way.”

 

      Sousuke’s heart only sank further into the pit of his stomach as he thinks about Rin's answer.  He takes out his wallet, and puts money on the table for the food plus the tip.  Rin looks like he’s about to protest about paying for himself, then seems to think against it, whenever Sousuke makes no move to negotiate.

 

       They walk back to the dorms together.  Rin’s hands are shoved into his sweatpant pockets and he trails behind Sousuke, looking down at his shoes.  As they near the school, Rin stops walking.

 

      “Sousuke?”

 

      Sousuke turns around to look at him.

 

      “Yeah?”

 

      Rin looks up from his shoes and stares Sousuke in the eyes.  His gaze is fierce and determined.

 

      “Don’t assume that the person doesn’t like you the same.”

 

      Sousuke blushes. “What makes you think I was assuming someone doesn’t like me the same.”

 

      The corner of Rin’s mouth twitched. “I know you. I know you’re going to give up before you even try.”

 

      Rin walks past him into their dorm room.  They come so close, his shoulder brushes against Sousuke’s chest.

 

 

* * *

 

 

      The loud blaring of Sousuke’s alarm sears through his dreams, and he reaches across his bed to shut it off.

 

      Sitting up, he looks out the window of his apartment.  The sun barely shines through the gray clouds that stretch across the sky.

 

      Sliding to the edge of his bed, he slips on his running shoes that he had starting placing by his bed every morning.

 

      Humans are creatures of habit.  Sousuke remembers reading that once in an article from a Psychology magazine that they had accidentally sent to him in the mail instead of his neighbor.  For something to become a part of your routine, you must do it about 20-30 times.

 

      Adjusting the waistband of his shorts, he looks at himself in the mirror.  His eyes are dark from working late.  For a moment, he stares at himself wanting to burrow back under the covers.  He sighs and looks away;  If he doesn’t run now, his day will feel incomplete.

 

      In order for something to become a habit, and easily work its way into your daily routine, you must be motivated to make a change.  Sousuke isn't completely sure what kind of change he was aiming for.  He wasn't even sure why he was he was attempting to make waking up early a habit.

 

      He walks into the kitchen and turns on his coffee machine so the water is hot whenever he returns.  He feels a set of dark brown eyes watching him from the corner of the room.  Looking over, he sees his dog, a German Shepherd/Labrador mix named Jun.  He sits patiently, waiting by the door.  

 

      He hadn’t been set on getting a dog, but after a rather lonely day in his one bedroom apartment, he had found himself walking past a long row of cages in the pound. Maybe he needed friends more than he thought.

 

      “Hey buddy.”  Sousuke says and Jun perks his ears forward, tilting his head.  His tail begins thumping against the wall.

 

      Creatures of habit. Sousuke grabs the leash where he leaves it on the island every night and clips it onto Jun’s collar, scratching him behind the ears.

 

      Someone either voluntarily starts a good habit, or will involuntarily start a bad habit with or without knowing.

 

      He wraps Jun’s leash around his hand once, pats his shorts pockets for his apartment key then walks out the door.

 

      The cold morning air makes the hair on his body stand instantly.  He shakes out his arms and begins slowly jogging.  Jun happily gallops beside him with thick black fur that easily repels the unsatisfactory weather.

 

      Sousuke feels sleep tugging at the corners of his eyes.  He wonders just how healthy his morning run truly is if he isn't even awake to experience it.

 

      His comes to a halt at a railroad crossing.  A train comes and passes by, horn blaring loudly.  Jun sits patiently by Sousuke, his ears swiveling back at the loud noise.

 

      The flashing red lights blinks on and off in his vision.  They blur when he squints his eyes and look fuzzy, like they would be soft to the touch.

 

      Once the train is gone and the barrier raises, he continues his jog.  He had stopped listening to music whenever he ran so that he could monitor his breathing better.  He used to have a tendency to hyperventilate, despite the prestigious training he had received at Tokitsu, the high school he once attended for swimming.

 

      It’s not as easy to run anymore.  The beats of the music no longer motivate each step he takes.

 

      Instead he runs to the sound of his breath pulling into his lungs.  His footsteps and the steady scrap of his dog’s claws on the asphalt surround him.  In the distance, he can hear a car engine turning on, the first sounds of life in Tokyo.

 

      Creatures of habit. 

 

      He tells himself to keep running, because it’s a good habit.

 

 

* * *

 

 

      Sousuke prepares breakfast for himself the same way every day, five eggs over medium, toast, and sausage with sauteed onions. He puts it all on a plate for himself, and puts the fifth egg into Jun’s food bowl. Every day, four eggs for himself, one for the dog.

 

      He eats at the table, looks through his mail, turns on the TV, then gets up to take a shower. 

 

      Of the good habits Sousuke can claim to have, putting his dirty clothing in the laundry basket isn’t one.  He feels only a hint of shame whenever he throws his clothing on his workout clothing from yesterday.

 

      Leaning his head back, he relaxes under the steady flow of water and sighs.  He usually has his TV turned to the news and the reporter’s voice drones on, making it easy to fall into a trance.

 

      He’s washing his hair whenever he hears something that makes him pause.  He slowly opens his eyes and watching the water come out of the shower head while he listens.

 

> _Rin Matsuoka is the Australian three time gold medalist hoping to compete in the next summer Olympics.  Even though he competes for Australia, he says he is hoping to make his home country Japan proud as well, during his next performance..._
> 
>  

      Sousuke closes his eyes and ducks his head until all he can hear is the water around him, filling his ears, drowning out the world.

 

 

* * *

 

 

      It had been five years since Sousuke had tried to confess his love to his once best friend, Rin Matsuoka.  Since then, he had boarded a train to Tokyo and tried not to look back.

 

It was hard sometimes, especially whenever the person he had fallen so hard for was so fucking famous.

 

He had felt like a coward whenever he had seen the letter in the trash.  His heart had truly broken for the first time in his life.  So he had tried to move on.

 

The first thing he did once he had went back to Tokyo was meet with his parents.  They had welcomed him with open arms, happily taking the diploma from his hands and ushering him to wash up for bed.  The train ride had lasted through until the early morning, and his eyes felt heavy with sleep.  The train seats were uncomfortable for someone his size, and he didn’t want to think about what he smelled like right now.

 

After his shower, he laid in the same bed he had grown up in and watched the sunrise.  He tried to calm his heart, but every beat made his chest ache more.  He felt a tear slowly trail down his cheek and angrily he wiped it away.  Sitting up, he slid out of the bed and sat on the floor.  He ran a hand through his hair and heaved a large sigh.

 

He had wanted to somehow turn the train around and go back to Rin.  He had reached for his coat pocket, expecting to feel his cell phone, hen realizing that it was no longer in there.  He kept trying to tell himself it was the best thing that he couldn’t call Rin.  He wanted to tell him it had been a joke, that he hadn’t meant anything the letter had said.  He could almost see Rin’s face, as he would have told him.  The confusion in his face, the way his eyebrows would have furrowed.  The way his lips would have turned down in a scowl once Sousuke was done telling him.  Rin would have told him to fuck off and Sousuke would have laughed, and everything would have returned to normal.

 

Except it wouldn’t have.  Because as Rin would have turned away and kept packing up his bags, Sousuke would have almost reached out and touched his arm.  Sousuke would have looked at the scowl on Rin’s lips and wanted to kiss him until his cheeks turned that beautiful shade of rose whenever he was embarrassed.

 

Sousuke would have said goodbye to Rin while they had made their way to the airport, and he would have pulled him into a hug.  He would have burrowed his face in the hair that covered his neck and smelled him and it would have seared his nostrils.  Rin would have told him not to go. That he would be waiting for him in Australia.

 

Sousuke would have laughed and held him tighter.

 

Nothing would have ever returned to normal.

 

His grief had finally relented and let him fall asleep, and by the time he had awoken, his parents had dinner on the table. They asked him about Samezuka and he gave small answers.  He knew his parents weren’t really that interested.  Once he had ruined his shoulder, he had thrown all chances out the window of ever becoming professional.  It didn’t take long for them to change the subject.

 

“Now that I understand you’re planning on staying in Tokyo, I’m hoping you can help out with the restaurant.”  His father said.

 

Sousuke took his attention away from his food and looked at him.  He hadn’t really had much of a plan of what he was going to do once he had stepped off the train.  Working in a restaurant had not really been his idea.  But, he had planned to move out and get his own place as soon as possible.  After spending half his life living in the dorms at Tokitsu, and then at Samezuka, it felt weird, almost foreign, to be living at home.  But to move out, he would need money.

 

He nodded his head, even though it hadn’t been his ideal idea of a job. 

 

The next day he had bought a new phone.  Turning it on, he opened his contacts page, and his fingers effortlessly typed out Rin’s number from memory.  He stopped, looking at it and then after hesitating, he deleted the number and closed his phone.

 

He thought about adding Gou’s number.  But then he knew that Gou would talk to Rin.

 

He didn’t really have anyone else’s number.  He had friends back at Tokitsu, but they hadn’t talked to him much once he transferred.  He hadn’t really talked to anyone but Rin.

 

His phone contacts stayed blank until he decided to add his parents’ cell phone numbers.  He tried not to feel like a loser.

 

The next day, dressed in slacks and suit and tie, he stood before a staff of people and was introduced by his father.  From there, he began his job managing at his father’s restaurant.

 

While he worked fulltime, he tried to figure out what he was going to do.  His answer came to him one day whenever two police officers had come in to eat during their break.  Whenever their food was ready, he had brought it out to their table since their server was busy with another customer.  Putting down their food, he didn’t have a chance to ask if they needed anything else before he was looked up and down by the both of them.  He stood their awkwardly while they seemed to analyze him and then the both of them gave each other a knowing look.  Once they noticed Sousuke’s obvious discomfort, they apologized and quickly explained themselves.

 

“You look like our one officer, Arata.  We were trying to figure out what he was doing working in a restaurant.”  The male officer explained, laughing as he watched the color return to Sousuke’s face.  He had felt like a fool, but for a moment he had thought he was in trouble. 

 

“You’re built like him too.”  The female officer added in appreciatively , giving him another once over.  Sousuke gave himself the courage not to blush and muttered a quick thanks.

 

He had asked them if they needed anything else before excusing himself from the table.  While they ate, he watched them from the kitchen and thought about what they had said.

 

He didn’t have to think much whenever they asked the server for the manager.  He had come back over, and they had handed a piece of paper with a number on it. 

 

“You should try out for the police academy, son.  We’re looking for recruits, and we’re certainly looking for people with your build.”  The man said nodding approvingly.  Sousuke took the paper from him and saw his name tag read Honda.  The woman’s read Ito.  He blinked in surprise before regaining his composure and shaking both of their hands and thanking them.

 

The piece of paper had remained on his desk untouched for two weeks before he looked up the credentials to join the police academy online.

 

He filled out the form and submitted it.

 

A week later, he got his acceptance letter.

 

     His parents didn’t seem too thrilled that he had planned to become a police officer.  Then again, they were happy that he was at least doing something.  His father had reluctantly reduced his hours to part time whenever he began his training.

 

      Moving out of his parents’ house and into the academy dorms gave him a moment to breathe a sigh of relief. 

 

      Then the training began.

 

      It was hard.  Luckily, he had worked out in high school because of the swimming, so the endurance and strength hadn’t been impossible.  It was waking up every day at five am and doing drills that killed him.  After the workouts, they did weapon training and hand on hand combat.  Usually by the end of the day, he studied for his exams, and then collapsed in his bed.

 

      This continued on for two years of his life. He pushed through the training and actually felt good.  The time spent at the academy and then at his job gave him little room to feel sorry for himself about the life he left behind.  That was except for one night.

 

      With only ten weeks left, the students had all decided to go out to drink on the weekend.  Sousuke had come with them after several of his classmates heckled him enough.  Once they were at the bar and a drink was in his hand, he was actually relaxing and having some fun.  He sat back against a booth and listened to his classmates talk around him.

 

      Another round of drinks was ordered.  And then another.  Sousuke’s polite declines soon became incoherent and his tongue felt heavy in his mouth.  He was definitely drunk.  He tipped back another Long Island and didn’t resist whenever he was pulled onto the dance floor.

 

      He felt his hands around a slender waist and the lights around him flashed, making him feel dizzy.  He managed to sway back and forth to the music, trapped in the middle of hundreds of bodies before he finally squeezed his way outside for some fresh air.

 

      Taking in lungfuls of cool Tokyo air, he leaned against the wall, feeling the bass of the music vibrate through his veins.  He took his cell phone out and looked at it dejectedly, and suddenly a wave of sadness washed over him.  He dialed a number without thinking and put it up to his ear.  It rang once, twice, three times.  He felt like it rang forever, until he felt someone touch his hand.  Pulling the phone away from his ear, he saw it was the girl he had been dancing with.  She wasn’t short, but Sousuke still had at least six inches on her.  He knew her name, but he couldn’t remember it then.  She had been in the academy too, but had graduated a year ahead of him. 

 

      She gently grabbed his arms and put them on her waist.  This was the girl he had been dancing with on the floor. Something about her resonated with him, and his heartbeat sped up.

 

      She lifted her chin and he tilted his head down and the kissed. 

 

      They had found their way back to her apartment.  There Sousuke’s inebriation left him stumbling through the door and falling onto her bed.  She took his shirt and easily slid it off.  There they had sex in her apartment twice.  He wasn’t even sure how he had managed to cum twice without getting whisky dick.  He fell asleep holding her and trying to forget that he had chosen a girl because he didn’t want to believe he wanted a guy.

 

      The next morning, he woke up to someone running a finger down his chest, and an unpleasant headache.  Opening his eyes, he came face to face with the girl he had danced with and then banged twice.  His eyes grew wide and he stared at her like a deer in the headlights.

 

      She threw her head back and laughed easily.  She slipped out of bed and threw her hair up into a messy bun.  She stood in a thong and a see through tanktop with no bra.  Sousuke blinked in amazement at her openness and discreetly pulled the blankets further up his waist.

 

      “Don’t worry.”  She said as she slipped on a pair of shorts and grabbed a hoodie. “I’m not expecting your hand in marriage, you can stop looking so horrified.”

 

      Sousuke looked down and muttered an apology, feeling self-conscious whenever she put her hand on her hip and studied him carefully.  She spoke again.

 

      “You know, I was beginning to get confused whenever you kept talking about Rin until I realized you were talking about a guy, not me.”

 

      Sousuke’s head snapped up again and he understood why the girl seemed to so familiar to him.  Sure, they had been in the police academy together, but that wasn’t the only reason.  Her name was Rin, too.

 

      He felt a million emotions hit him at once and tried to figure out if the shitty feeling inside of him was because he was getting sick, or because he had admitted he liked guys.  Or maybe it was also because he was stuck in a girl’s apartment who had the same name as his high school crush.

 

      He felt the bed dip as she sat down, a small smile on her face.  “Your secret’s safe with me.  I don’t know about the other guy though.  You called him maybe ten times.”

 

      Sousuke felt temporary relief which quickly dissolved into shock and disbelief.  He tried to figure out where his phone was until she held it out in her well-manicured hands. 

 

      “Trust me.”  She said whenever he took the phone from her. “I took your phone away before you did more damage than good.  I know from experience.  I’ve called too many exes while drunk to even think about it.”

 

      Sousuke scrolled through his call history and saw that he had called Rin’s cell phone number, exactly ten times, like she had said.

 

      His hands trembled a little and he put his phone down. “Did anyone answer…?” he asked quietly, afraid to look at her.

 

      She shook her head, and he let out a sigh.  He felt a weird feeling in his chest whenever he was torn between disappointment and relief.

 

      “Anyway.”  The Rin before Sousuke stood, brushing off her hoodie and stretching.  “If you want anything to eat, help yourself.  You put my number in your phone earlier.” She offered him a kind smile.  Sousuke looked at the way her eyes held fire in her soul.  She was beautiful.  “Text me if you ever need anything.”

 

      She had left him then and Sousuke had sat quietly for a moment until he looked at the contacts of his phone.  He actually managed a small laugh whenever he saw that she was put into his phone as ‘Other Rin’.

 

      What were the chances.

 

      Once the weekend was over, he woke up at five am again to do his drills and tried to forget about the ten missed calls that called back when he dialed Rin’s number.

 

 

* * *

 

 

      The day of his graduation from the police academy was filled with mixed emotions.  He was proud of himself.  He graduated in the top ten of his class, despite a shoulder injury. 

 

      He thought briefly about how different of a path he was taking than the one he intended.  He wonders where he’d be right now if his shoulder hadn’t stopped working.  He allows himself a sad smile when he thinks about standing on a podium with a medal in his hands.  To his right he sees a man with red hair smile at him, wearing the most golden medal, shining brightly in the stadium lights.

 

      On his first day at the police force in Tokyo, he walked through the double doors, his uniform feeling stiff and new.

 

      Several people gave him curious looks, but the eyes he looked on with was the woman, Rin.   Her arms were crossed as she leaned against her desk, she straightened up and walked toward him, holding her hand out for him to shake.

 

      “Welcome.”

 

      Sousuke tentatively took her hand and blinked, feeling the realization that this was the start of a new life flow through him.

 

      Welcome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peristeal.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter took forever, but I had to start somewhere! Tell me what you think? And thank you for reading!!
> 
> Tumblr - Peristeal.tumblr.com


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